The music is basically up-beat and folky.
This one's on my tape.
Oh Einstein was a clever stick -
He knew about his particles;
But Neils Bohr knew a whole lot more -
He wrote a lot of articles!
It's a most annoying consequence
Of behaviour that is quantum:
The trouble with electrons is
They're never where you want 'em!
Now Schroedinger, he was the one
Who first described the orbits;
He said "Ze spatial function's mine,
And all ze rest are your bits!"
And Pauli's principle describes
Electronic exclusion -
Where orbital and spin define
The quantum distribution.
But is it particle or wave?
It drives me to distraction
When a sub-atomic particle
Is subject to diffraction!
But Heisenberg, he rocked the boat
When he drew back the curtain:
For he proved b'yond doubt that we'll never find out
Where the hell the bugger is for certain!
Music and lyrics © Dan Bennett 1996